Title: Wishing You Had Stayed Author: mimic117 Email: mimic1172@gmail.com Rating: definitely NC17 for solo-love, if you get my drift. Sorry, but my mind fell in the gutter decades ago and I'll be damned if I can fish the stinky thing back out. Category: SR Spoilers: none really for the series, but this is a continuation of my previous story, "Wishing I Could Touch You." This happens a week after the events in that story, so you might want to read that one, but you don't have to. You just need to know that M&S are now lovers. Please don't puke if you don't care for such. Keywords: RST Mulder/Scully romance Summary: Scully has left, and Mulder is in despair. How will he cope? Disclaimer: Okay, everyone knows they don't belong to me. We all know they belong to David & Gillian & Chris & everybody else in the whole world, except me. I'm not going to make a cent from my scribbling, but hey! I don't get paid for cooking, or doing laundry, or anything else I do, so why should this be any different? Can I help it if CC's characters are more interesting than the ones I make up myself? Can I help it if I have a healthy libido at my advanced age? If you sue me, you'll just have to send my son through college, and his lab fees are enormous! So let's all play nice together, and maybe I won't have to tell your mom that you were being mean to me. Whadda ya say? Author's Notes and general blathering at the end ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wishing You Had Stayed by mimic117 Friday 8:35 PM Scully was gone. She'd actually left him. Fox Mulder leaned his head against his apartment door, feeling all the energy drain from him in one long, despairing sigh. He didn't even notice the number 42 leaving a dent in his forehead. She'd said she wouldn't go. He'd been so sure she would stay, especially after last weekend. She'd said she loved him, needed him, as much as he needed her. And now she'd just up and left, without even seeming to care how much she was hurting him. Well, maybe that wasn't true. She did care about him, but that hadn't stopped her from leaving. Mulder glanced down at his hand, and realized that his key was in the doorknob, but he hadn't turned it. With another joyless sigh, he unlocked the door, took two steps inside, and pushed it shut with his back. Mulder closed his eyes and allowed his head to THUMP back against the door. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Same day 9:30 AM "But Scully! Just yesterday you said you weren't going!" Dana Scully knew that tone of voice well enough to recognize incipient panic when she heard it. She sighed for the sixth time in as many minutes and continued pushing paperwork into the briefcase on her desk. "I know, Mulder. I'm sorry. As I've told you three times already, that was before I knew Dr. Clooney would be there. I haven't seen her in ages, and she is getting on in years. I promise, I'll only be gone a couple of days. I'll be here bright and early Monday morning." Scully held her breath and hoped that the fourth repetition would penetrate his panic and coalesce into acceptance of her absence. "But Scullee..." Scully let out her pent breath in another sigh, and briefly prayed that she wouldn't pass out from hyper-ventilation. "We were supposed to spend the weekend together!" Mulder's panic voice was rapidly becoming a tearful voice. "This was going to be our second weekend together, and I was really looking forward to it. You know we agreed to keep our personal life separate during the work week, so when else will I get to spend time with you?" Scully knew if she looked at her partner, his luscious lower lip would be sticking out, and she'd cave in, so she determinedly continued gathering her belongings. In spite of her outward calm, Scully had been looking forward to their time together, as well. Except for the one time late Tuesday evening when she had impulsively dragged Mulder into an empty storage closet, (where they had desperately swallowed the sound of each others' passionate cries during a brief, soul-shattering encounter) they had conscientiously kept their hands to themselves all week. In spite of all the malicious comments from colleagues about her icy interior, Dana Scully was a woman who's passion matched the color of her hair, and who had found a matching level of fire in the tall, gorgeous man who watched her back in the field and treated her as an equal at all times. Now it took all of her considerable resolve to continue with her plans, knowing it would be another week before they could dare to touch one another in anything but a partnerly manner. "Next weekend we'll do something special to make up for it," she said with deceptive lack of concern. Mulder's eyes lit up like Christmas morning, and an extremely non-boy-like grin split his face. "Would this something special involve canned whipping cream?" His eyebrows waggled like belly-dancing caterpillars. Scully stopped shoving papers into her briefcase and contemplated the man she loved with a softening gaze and a quirk of her lips. "Mulder," she smiled gently, "it can involve whatever pressurized food products you want, just as long as you let me out of here in time to pack and catch my flight." "Oooh, Scully. You know what I like!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Same day 8:40 PM Back at Mulder's apartment Mulder slumped against his door, remembering how hard it had been to swallow his disappointment and calmly bid Scully good-bye. He hadn't dared to kiss her, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop at one kiss and things would quickly get out of hand. He had tried to make her proud of him by behaving in an adult, rational manner, but all he'd really wanted to do was wrap himself around her legs like a tearful toddler and beg her not to leave. It had all happened so quickly that she was out the door before he fully realized that it was time for her to go. The rest of the morning had sucked, and then gone downhill from there. As he heard his keys drop to the floor from his nerveless fingers, Mulder opened his eyes to see a micro-cassette recorder sitting on his coffee table. His first impulse was to pull his gun and shoot the damned thing simply for existing. It had no right to be in his apartment when Scully wasn't. Pushing himself away from the door, Mulder dragged his feet over to the table until he could see a neatly folded note laying next to the recorder. He recognized his name in Scully's unique script, and was infinitesimally cheered. "Before you take out your disappointment on the poor recorder" the note said "you might want to hear what it has to say." "I made this recording after last weekend, thinking it might help in the future when we needed to be apart for some reason. I didn't think the future was so close. I hope you enjoy it. Remember - I love you. S" Mulder's heart melted and trickled out his tear ducts. "I love you. S" To think that she would actually write those words for him. Fox Mulder! Pariah of the FBI! After so many years of wanting her with every fiber of his body, mind, and soul, the thought that Scully felt even a small amount of the same need for him nearly brought him to his knees. Their relationship had finally moved on to the next logical stage one week earlier. After all of their dancing around and avoiding the issue of their feelings for one another over the last 6 years, all it had taken was a late night of take-out and expense reports at her apartment. A chance collision in the kitchen doorway, and the clutching hands of support had become the grasping hands of desire. It had been a magical weekend of tearing down walls and building bridges between two hearts. And now to know that she had considered how her going would affect him, and had taken the time to leave this for him even as she rushed to get herself to the airport... Mulder wiped his eyes on his sleeve and picked up the palm- sized recorder. Pressing the play button, he smiled to hear her familiar greeting. "Mulder, it's me." "Since you're listening to this recording, that means I'm not with you and you're probably felling sorry for yourself." "This may surprise you, Mulder, but I'm feeling sorry for myself as well." Mulder's eyebrows shot up in amazement as he removed his trenchcoat and hung it up. It stunned him that Scully would actually admit to something that she would consider a profession of weakness. His chest tightened as he realized the level of her trust in him that was revealed by this single admission. "Wherever I am right now," the recording continued, "I'd much rather be with you, Mulder. You'll always be my one in five billion. I don't want you to ever doubt that...or forget it." His eyes misted over and a lump started to form in the back of his throat. "I'm certain that whatever I'm doing, there are other things I'd rather be doing with you. And *to* you. So if you'll indulge me for a little while, I'd like to tell you about them." Mulder's heart rate shot up at the same time that a tidal wave of his blood surged straight south, leaving him suddenly light- headed. Mulder toed off his shoes and shoved them up against the couch as he unknotted his tie and pulled it around his neck. The tape continued "We've just gotten to your apartment after a long, boring day, and now we just want to spend some time together. We're going to pretend that I'm there with you, so what's the first thing we would do on a Friday night?" Mulder looked over at his apartment door as he removed his suit coat and threw it on the couch with his tie, visualizing exactly what he had been planning to do the minute they walked in the door. "Let's also pretend for a minute that we can get into your apartment without you becoming Cro-Mulderman and taking me against the inside of the door." A shout of laughter echoed around Mulder's living room as he threw back his head in rueful acknowledgment of his partner's uncanny ability to read him like a book. A dirty book at that. "That's right, " Scully's voice purred from the recorder. "A nice...warm...soothing...relaxing...shower." Mulder couldn't stop the moan that issued from his throat as his eyes slammed shut on the image newly formed in his mind. "Come on, Mulder. Let's go take a shower." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Mulder set the silent recorder on the bathroom sink and marveled at the change in the tiny room. Not only had Scully left the tape for him to enjoy, she'd also put out his softest towels and covered every available surface with candles. Switching the recorder back on, Mulder picked up the nearby box of matches and began lighting the candles. "Providing there isn't already a trail of clothing leading in from the living room, it's time to get naked for me, Mulder. And you know how much I love to see you naked." Mulder shivered at the obvious desire in Dana Scully's voice, and shut off the light, watching the play of candlelight across his face in the mirror. "If all the candles are lit now, go ahead and turn the water on to warm up while I get those sweaty, confining clothes off of you." Mulder reached in to turn on the shower and frantically started unbuttoning his shirt, only to be halted by an admonishment from his apparently psychic partner. "Ah ah ah, Mulder, not so fast. Good things shouldn't be rushed. Anticipation, you know. Pop - pop - pop - one button at a time. Slowly revealing your chest to my waiting gaze. I want to see it all, but I need to unwrap you slowly, like the special gift you are. Now close your eyes and feel my hands undressing you, so slowly." As Mulder tilted his head back and closed his eyes, he could almost believe his Scully was there, finishing the buttons on the front of his shirt, gently undoing his cuffs, and dropping his opened shirt on the floor. He could practically smell her hair and feel the heat radiating off her body. Sometimes it was nice to have a vivid imagination and an eidetic memory. "Before we remove those slacks that are starting to get a little too tight, I really need to touch your chest first." Scully's breath was coming out in small sighs now, and Mulder unconsciously matched them with his own. "Run your hands lightly over your chest, down your stomach, and back up again." Mulder did as instructed and moaned softly as his mind supplied the vision of Scully's hands on his body. "Have I told you how much I love your chest? It's just muscular enough, with just the right amount of soft hair. But what I really love about it is your nipples. I love to run my nails over them and hear you moan." Mulder scraped his fingers over the small brown nubbins and obligingly moaned on cue. "Oh yeah... just like that. I wish I could lick them right now. They taste so rough, and salty, and... Mulder. I'll bet I could make you come just by licking and biting and sucking your nipples." Mulder groaned low in his throat and started to pant lightly. "Now let's get those pants off before the water gets cold. First I unbuckle your belt. Then the button on the waistband, and s- l-o-w-l-y pull down the zipper. I can't control myself any longer, Mulder. I have to touch you, now! I run my fingers up and down the length of your cock through your shorts, feeling how hard you are already. For me." Mulder shuddered as his fingers firmly traced the length of his fully-developed erection, no longer aware of the touch as his own. Scully was here, with him, loving him as only she could. "I pull down your pants and boxers at the same time, and you step out of them and pull off your socks. But I don't touch you just yet, even though I want to sooo badly. I'll save that for later. Right now you need to turn the tape over and get into the shower, because I'm waiting there for you." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Turning up the volume on the recorder, Mulder stepped into the shower and adjusted the water temperature. The hot water felt wonderful beating on the top of his head, running in trails down his body. His ears perked up as the recording resumed, wanting desperately to hear what Scully had in store for him next. "Since the main purpose of a shower is to get clean, let me wash your hair first." Mulder reached for the bottle of shampoo on the side of the tub, and realized that it was the one Scully always used. She'd left it for him, to make the fantasy more real. Popping the top, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, and she was once again there, with him. "I put some shampoo in my hand so I can massage your scalp, the way the salon does. It always feels so relaxing, I know you'll enjoy it. Bend over a little so I can reach, Big Guy." Not even thinking about the incongruity of the situation, Mulder bent slightly at the waist, eyes closed, and slowly massaged his fingertips into his hair, moaning as the tension in his scalp eased. "Now let's rinse your hair, Mulder. I want to watch the suds run down your body, flowing over all the places I want to run my tongue. I especially want to see it rolling down your smooth, tight back, until it trickles down between the cheeks of your gorgeous ass. God, I love your ass, Mulder. I just can't stop running my hands over and over those beautiful, round mounds of muscle." Mulder moaned low in his throat as his own hands, independent of his thoughts, smoothed over his backside in imitation of Scully's soft touch. "I pick up the soap now so I can wash the rest of you. But not with the washcloth. I'm going to use just my hands, so I can feel every square inch of your beautiful body." Mulder reached out blindly and grabbed the bar of avocado oil soap that she liked best. Scully seemed to enjoy the way it made his skin smell, so he'd bought a brand new bar just for this weekend. He briefly wished she had stayed to share it with him, and then he was lost in her voice again as the tape continued. "I rub the soap in my hands to work up a good lather so I can do your face first. Close your eyes tight, now. I don't want to get soap in them." Mulder squeezed his eyes shut, but he hadn't really opened them since he'd first stepped in the shower. In his mind, he not only could see Scully gently smoothing her fingers across his skin, he could also see himself, eyes closed, head tilted slightly forward to equalize their height difference. As though he was watching it on one of those videos he was going to give away to Frohike the first chance he had. Lost in the spell of her voice, Mulder continued to follow Scully's directions. "I really like to touch your face. Did you know that? I used to make up excuses to touch you, like when I'd put my hand on your forehead to check for fever. I've always wanted to lick that tiny cleft in your chin, only I could never find a good medical excuse for doing it. But now, I can lick your chin if I want to. Uumm, it tastes so good!" Scully's little moan of delight wrung an answering moan from Mulder. His whole body twitched as he felt her tongue caress his chin and continue down his throat. He was panting, and she hadn't even touched the rest of his body yet! "While you rinse your face, I'm going to start washing the rest of you. Most people wash from the top down, but I think I'll start at your feet and work my way up." Scully's voice turned husky with desire. "But we'll leave the good stuff for last." As Scully's voice continued to caress his senses, Mulder leaned his back against the wall, then bent down and worked the lather between his toes. Rinsing his foot off so he wouldn't slip, he did the other foot, rinsing and continuing up his own legs. "You have great legs, you know. I'm sure it's because of all the running you do. Your calf muscles are so well defined, and your thighs... Well, I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop touching your thighs. Ooohh, especially right in that crease where they turn into that lovely ass of yours." Scully's little moans of pleasure were enough to start shivers running up and down Mulder's spine, while his imagination supplied her soft fingers trailing up the backs of his thighs. He really was enjoying this new side to his partner, and he wanted it to last, but Mulder was becoming more afraid by the minute that he would end up in serious pain if she didn't put him out of his misery soon. "I'd love to spend time on your chest, Mulder," Scully's voice panted huskily, "but I really need to touch your cock now. I can't wait any longer to wrap my fingers around your beautiful prick, to feel your velvety soft skin all covered in suds, sliding up and down inside my fist..." Mulder couldn't tell if the heavy panting in his ears was coming from the tape or his own throat. But he could definitely tell that this whole scenario was turning Scully on as much as it was him. Lost in the haze of desire created by her voice, Mulder rubbed more lather into his hands and gently began stroking his rock hard erection the way his lover would. "Oh God, Mulder, this feels so good. You're so long, and hard, and hot... I'm going to kneel down right in front of you so I can watch you come. My hands are moving faster now, and I'm stroking your balls just a little, not too hard, because I want this to last a bit longer." A tight feeling began to coil at the base of Mulder's spine as one hand pumped faster, while the other kneaded his sac gently, eyes still closed and head thrown back against the tile wall. His gasping breaths now matched the sounds coming from the recorder, and Mulder could almost feel Scully's warm breath puffing against his hyper-sensitive flesh. "Mulder... God, I have to touch myself... I can't help it, Mulder, I'm so hot, I want you so much... I'm touching myself while I'm hand-fucking you, Mulder... I've got my fingers between my legs and I'm gonna come... Oh shit, I'm gonna come so hard... " Mulder could see her in his mind, kneeling on the floor of the shower, wet hair plastered to her face. Water was dripping off the tips of her breasts as one soapy hand pumped his rigid cock, while the other hand was buried between her thighs, rubbing and thrusting as she groaned her desire into the curls in his groin. "Mulder... I love you... so much... I'm coming, Mulder... so hard, so hard... loveyousomuch...oh God! MULDER!" The sound of Scully crying his name in ecstasy was all Mulder needed to push him right after her. He roared his release as his body bucked away from the wall, hands milking every last drop from his spasming shaft. Colors exploded behind his clenched eyes as Mulder sobbed his pleasure to the empty room while his body shuddered on every breath. "...loveyouScullyloveyousomuch...thankyou... God, I love you..." Opening his eyes for the first time since he'd stepped into the shower, Mulder blearily watched the evidence of his incredible orgasm slide down the shower wall toward the drain. Splashing water to help it along its way, he heard Scully's sex- worn voice coming from the recorder. "That was fun, Mulder. But I think I'll take a nap now. Why don't you dry off and join me? I'll meet you under the sheets, lover. Don't be long." *click* Shutting off the cooling water, Mulder opened the shower door and grabbed a towel with suddenly boneless hands. His arms seemed to weigh a ton as he slowly swiped the worst of the water off his skin. Taking a few extra minutes to blow out the candles, Mulder rubbed his hair with the towel as he shuffled down the hall to his bedroom. He smiled to see the fresh sheets on the mattress, turned down invitingly with the soft comforter he seldom used spread on top. Because Fox Mulder always paid his debts. And this was one obligation he was going to take great delight in repaying in exactly the right fashion. Crawling under the clean linen with a contented sigh, Mulder laid back on the pillow and looked at his reflection in the mirrored canopy. His hair was sticking up in several directions and his eyes had the hooded appearance of a man thoroughly satisfied, ready for a refreshing sleep. Sighing sadly, Mulder turned on his side and burrowed into the bed, getting comfortable for the night. A smile slowly spread across his face as his eyes took in the small pile of micro cassette tapes sitting on his night stand, each one labeled for a different time covering the next two days. There was even a pack of new batteries for the recorder. As his eyes drooped shut, Mulder couldn't help thinking that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad weekend after all. THE END Mulder: "...I can't always read your mind, but you make it pretty clear when you're planning on kicking a guy in the nuts." Scully: "Got to stop telegraphing my moves." from Basketball Therapy by Kel Author's Notes: Okay, you guys, I told you this would happen if you didn't send feedback, so don't blame me. I was surprised by how much easier this was to write than En Veritae, the regular x-file type story I did first. (Shameless plug inserted here.) Maybe I should be appalled by that, but I'm not sure. Special Thanks: Fialka, I did that exclamationectomy I promised. I appreciate the rap in the head. You're right, it reads better with fewer. About the other thing, though - I'm afraid I'm a lazy writer, but I'll try to mend my ways. Thanks a lot. And oodles of kisses to all the people who've written since the first story in this series was posted just days ago. All this smutty stuff isn't my fault! They encouraged me! Honest! FEEDBACK: God yes! Want some! Need some! Gimmegimme! (Did I mention I'd like feedback?) Any mistakes in this story are purely my own fault, although there wouldn't be any if my buff beta-reader didn't have a problem with reading smut written by his mother. Must be a Freudian thing. Let me know how I done, and I promise to cyber-lick your shoes for all I'm worth. Feedback: mimic1172@gmail.com